People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone.
There are 100 billion nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.
Your secrets are safe with me… I wasn’t even listening.
You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box… I don’t even know where the box is.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers because I can always count on them.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.
It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy.
When people tell me “You’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep in until noon because I’m a problem solver.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
If you fall, I will be there. Signed: Floor.
You can’t run through a campground. You can only “ran,” because it’s past tents.
Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.
Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.
I don’t like violence but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.
People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.
He who laughs last didn’t get it.
It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.
Yes, I know there is a really special place in Hell for me. It is called a throne.
I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.
My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.
Vodka may not be the answer but it’s worth a shot.
Wine + dinner = winner
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.
Yesterday I really wanted tacos. Now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams.
I need a six-month vacation twice a year.
I’m sorry, I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.
You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.
Reality called, so I hung up.
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.
“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well.” ― Mark Twain
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” ― Steve Martin
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” ― Charles Bukowski
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” ― George Carlin
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ” ― W.C. Fields
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.” ― Thomas Szasz
“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” ― Mae West
“If I’m not complaining, I’m not having a good time, hah hah!” ― Martin Scorsese
“No man can be wise on an empty stomach.” – George Eliot
”I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” – Woody Allen
Cool Instagram captions
Being cool is being your own self, not doing something that someone else is telling you to do.
I can take it. The tougher it gets, the cooler I get.
I’m a mirror. If you’re cool with me, I’m cool with you, and the exchange starts. What you see is what you reflect. If you don’t like what you see, then you’ve done something. If I’m standoffish, that’s because you are.
Nothing is cooler and more attractive than a big comeback, and that’ll be me.
I’ve never been cool and I don’t really care about being cool. It’s just an awful lot of time and hair gel wasted.
He who keeps his cool best wins.
Just keep your cool and your sense of humor.
Forget the failures. Keep the lessons.
If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.
Those who think it is not cool to be kind are cold-hearted.
Women are like teabags. We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water!
Sometimes one day changes everything; sometimes years change nothing.
If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.
See the bowtie? I wear it and I don’t care. That’s why it’s cool.
You don’t have to make something that people call art. Living is an artistic activity, there is an art to getting through the day.
Secrets…are the very root of cool.
Passion isn’t cool, it’s hot.
So, here’s a really stupid thing about the world: The trick to looking cool is not caring whether you look cool. So the moment you achieve perfect coolness is simultaneously the moment that you actually, completely don’t care.
So uncool it’s cool again.
People trying too hard to be cool often end up becoming a joke.
Weird is the new cool.
Motivational quotes for Instagram
The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda. It all comes down to what you do today.
The difference between greatness and mediocrity is often how an individual views a mistake.
My key to dealing with stress is simple: just stay cool and stay focused.
Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.
A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
Action without a plan is called failure. Action with a plan is called success.
You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.
Your character is formed by the challenges you face and overcome.
Good, better, best. Never let it rest. ‘Til your good is better and your better is best.
When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.
Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.
Every exit is an entry somewhere else.
Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
Well done is better than well said.
If you’re going through hell, keep going.
You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.
You can never quit. Winners never quit, and quitters never win.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
Perfect selfie quotes/Instagram captions for selfies
Many have an idea of me. Few get the picture.
But first, let me take a selfie.
Always classy, never trashy, and a little bit sassy.
Life isn’t perfect, but my hair/makeup/outfit/etc is!
Text me back or I’ll find you
You don’t need a king to be a queen.
New hair, who dis?
Less perfection, more authenticity.
“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” – Coco Chanel
“We are all a mess, but it’s how we keep it together that makes us beautiful.” – J. Iron Word
I was born to stand out.
Confidence Level: Selfie with no Filter.
In a world full of trends, I want to remain a classic.
Less Perfection, more Authenticity.
Hating me doesn’t make you look better.
You couldn’t handle me. Even if I would come with instructions!
It’s not a phase, mum.
I don’t care what you think of me! Unless you think I’m awesome – in which case, you’re right!
Life isn’t perfect, but your outfit can be.
I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
Sometimes you have to create your own sunshine.
I’m feeling lucky like a four-leaf clover.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don’t.
“I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” – Augusten Burroughs
Best song lyrics for Instagram captions
“The mind is a terrible thing to waste, I show love cause it’s a terrible thing to hate.” – Guru, “Peace of Mine”
“There are desires that we all want to achieve, but remember respect is most greatest to receive.” – Big Daddy Kane, “Children R the Future”
“I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me.” – Selena Gomez, “Who Says”
“They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late.” – Kanye West, “Start It Up”
“Darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.” – Taylor Swift, “Blank Space”
“Tonight, I’m a baller, babe.” – Ariana Grande, “Successful”
“I ain’t got a lotta money but I got a lotta style.” – Fifth Harmony, “Top Down”
“Love is just a word but you bring it definition.” – Eminem, “Love The Way You Lie Part 2”
“The best people in life are free.” – Taylor Swift, “New Romantics”
“You’re an expert at sorry and keeping the lines blurry.” – Taylor Swift, “Dear John”
“You’ve got every right to a beautiful life.” – Selena Gomez, “Who says”
“Tell ’em that it’s my birthday!” – Selena Gomez, ‘Birthday’
“I’ve been layin’, waiting for your next mistake, I put in work, and watch my status escalate.” – Guru, “Work”
“My sense of self and my mental health Is much more powerful than any hint of wealth.” – Guru, “Peace of Mine”
“Don’t criticize what you can’t understand.” – Bob Dylan, “The Times They Are a-Changin”
“To appreciate the sun, you gotta know what rain is.” – J. Cole, “I’m Coming Home”
“Feeling good living better.” – Drake, “Over my dead body”
“Believe in your flyness, conquer your shyness.” – Kanye West
“Life imitates art.” – Lana Del Rey, “Gods And Monsters”
“Find me where the wild things are.” – Alessia Cara, “Wild Things”
“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” – John Lennon, “Imagine”
“My nationality’s reality. And, yo: a prejudiced man is of a devil mentality.” – Kool G. Rap, “Erase Racism”
“Success is my only option, failure’s not.” – Eminem, “Lose Yourself”
“Actions have reactions, don’t be quick to judge, You may not know the hardships people don’t speak of. It’s best to step back, and observe with couth, For we all must meet our Moment of Truth.” – Guru, “Moment of Truth”
“Even though you’re fed up, you gotta keep your head up.” – Tupac, “Keep Ya Head Up”
“True confidence leaves no room for jealousy. When you know you are great, you have no need to hate.” – Nicki Minaj
Cute Instagram captions
Your childhood is complete with Disney.
I am the princess of my own Fairy Tale.
“Love is a song that never ends.” — Bambi
A girl should be like a butterfly. Pretty to see, hard to catch.
A real girl isn’t perfect and a perfect girl isn’t real.
A girl should be like a butterfly. Pretty to see, hard to catch.
Lift up your head princess, if not the crown falls.
My favorite place is inside your hug.
My boyfriend still thinks my eyelashes are real. I guess we all have secrets, don’t we?
I need vitamin U.
Behind every successful woman is herself.
Be your own kind of beautiful.
Be your own reason to smile.
Never a failure, always a lesson.
Wakeup and makeup.
Inner beauty needs no makeup.
Sometimes you gotta be a beauty and a beast!
Be a voice, not an echo.
Less is more.
Your smile is my favorite.
Instagram bio captions
Time is precious, waste it wisely.
If I was a writer I’d have a better Instagram bio quote.
The best of me is yet to come.
Gifted napper, talker, and ice cream eater.
First I drink the coffee. Then I do things.
My mission in life is not merely to survive but thrive.
I know I left my sanity around here somewhere.
In a world full of trends I want to remain a classic.
Words cannot express my love and passion for Fridays. The photos might help.
Life is short… smile while you still have teeth.
I always prefer my puns to be intended.
One of the few people on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.
Just another paper cut survivor.
Wondering how many miles I have scrolled with my thumbs.
Looking for hashtags – they look like waffles.
I’m best served with coffee and a side of sarcasm.
I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.
The bags under my eyes are Gucci.
Simplicity is the key to happiness.
This seat is taken.
I don’t make mistakes, I date them.
Making history, I mean… Insta stories…
My blood is made of coffee.
It’s not a phase, it’s who I am.
Give me the chocolate and nobody will get hurt.
The future is shaped by your dreams. Stop wasting time and go to sleep!
If you fall, worry not. The floor will be there.
I don’t look like this in real life.
Make peace with your broken pieces.
Why blend in when you are born to stand out.
Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
Travel quotes for Instagram
“Not all those who wander are lost.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” ― St. Augustine
“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” ― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” ― Lao Tzu
“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” ― Lao Tzu
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ― Marcel Proust
“Travel brings power and love back into your life.” ― Rumi Jalalud-Din
“We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.” ― anaïs nin
“To travel is to live.” ― Hans Christian Andersen
“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” ― Henry Miller
“There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign.” ― Robert Louis Stevenson, The Silverado Squatters
“If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.” ― James A. Michener
Instagram captions for couples
You’re my favorite flavor.
Everything’s better when we do it together.
An adventure with you is never dull.
When I’m with you, time stands still.
These two parts make a better whole.
A heart in love is a happy heart.
That’s okay, you don’t have to give my heart back, you can keep it.
Sometimes only the thought of you can make me smile.
Thank you for being you.
Love is friendship, our love is best friendship.
There is an I in we.
Together is the best place you and I could be.
If we were in a store, we’d be sold as a set.
Falling in love with you was the best fall I ever took.
You love me at my worst, things can only get better from here.
I think I can be without you, then I think again.
Our love is no joke, it’s fun, but not funny.
Paradise found.
The only time I stop talking is to kiss you.
They said we wouldn’t work, but we did.
A good friend knows all your best stories, but a best friend has lived them with you.
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.
Friends are the family you choose
You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Good things take time; that is why seeds persevere through rocks and dirt to bloom.
Wise and universal captions for Instagram
“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
“Because you can’t argue with all the fools in the world. It’s easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they’re not paying attention.” ― Christopher Paolini
“To generalize is to be an idiot.” ― William Blake
“The only freedom you truly have is in your mind, so use it.” ― M.T. Dismuke
“You can’t have a goal without determination, because without the determination the goal will die.” ― Patrick L. Turner
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ― Mae West
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” ― Robert Frost
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ― Oscar Wilde
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” ― Andre Gide, Autumn Leaves
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ― Albert Einstein
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ― Albert Einstein
“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” ― Allen Saunders
“Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.” – Anonymous
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” ― Dr. Seuss
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ― George Bernard Shaw
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ― Mark Twain
“The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there” ― George Harrison
“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” ― Michael Cunningham, The Hours
“Get busy living or get busy dying.” ― Stephen King, Different Seasons
“Life is a book and there are a thousand pages I have not yet read.” ― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” ― George Bernard Shaw
“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” ― Søren Kierkegaard
“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.” ― Stephen King
“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” ― Arthur C. Clarke
“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” ― Albert Camus
“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life’s cruelest irony.” ― Douglas Coupland, Shampoo Planet
“It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime…” ― Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner
“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.” ― Kahlil Gibran
“Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.” ― Stephanie Klein, Straight Up and Dirty
“People aren’t born good or bad. Maybe they’re born with tendencies either way, but its the way you live your life that matters.” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass
“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.” ― Kalu Ndukwe Kalu
“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” ― Abraham Lincoln
“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.” ― Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting
“The past has no power over the present moment.” ― Eckhart Tolle
“Don’t waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.” ― Paulo Coelho
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu
“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.” ― Terry Pratchett
“Make improvements, not excuses. Seek respect, not attention.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
“The trouble is if you don’t spend your life yourself, other people spend it for you.” ― Peter Shaffer, Five Finger Exercise
“No amount of regretting can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light ihn the Heart
“If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them.” – Marcus Aurelius
“Life isn’t perfect, people aren’t perfect, but there are moments that are.” – Amy Harmon
Lockdown captions for Instagram
Same stuff, different day.
Living my best introverted life.
In insolationship.
I swear I’m smiling under this mask.
Can’t touch this.
It’s all Zoom and gloom right now.
The only nation I’m visiting this year is imagination.
All dressed up with nowhere to go.
Vodka may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot.
Happy hour! Time for a quaran-tini.
“I want to get quarantined with you.” – Flirting in 2020.
Wake me up when we can travel again.
Let’s be honest, social distancing from a few certain people has been nice.
Social distancing is the new self-care.
Sheltering in place like…
Nothing really mattress except sleep.
Destination: isolation.
I followed my heart, and it led me to the couch.
Not to brag, but I used hand soap before it was trending.
Roses are red, oceans are blue, this is me in isolation, how about you?
Since everyone has started washing their hands like we’re supposed to, we’ll be working on shapes and colors next week.
“You can’t touch this” – MC Hammer
“My loneliness is killing me” – Britney Spears
I’m smiling, I swear.
These days I only do my makeup on the top half of my face.
I’m starting to think this mask is a part of me now.
If you would have told me a year ago that we’d all be wearing face masks, I wouldn’t have believed you.
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